Little Marco Rubio is on a roll in his quest to displace JD Vance as the most likely member of the Trump Administration to receive Donald Trump’s coveted endorsement in the 2028 election campaign. He may have his work cut out for himself, but he’s left himself a little leeway for the battle ahead.
To get the endorsement, Vance has been trying to follow in Trump’s footsteps by cozying up with an Aryan who is not his wife – Erika Kirk – while also flouting Trump as the President of Peace.
Rubio tried to outshine Vance by renaming the Institute of Peace to the Donald J. Trump Institute of Peace. In his attempt to seal the deal, Rubio then leapt into the culture wars by courageously demanding that the State Department cease use of the font Calibri and revert to Times New Roman.
When that fails to score the coveted endorsement, Rubio has left himself another arrow in his quiver.
JD and Marco Are Both Making Up For Initial Stumbles
Back in the 2016 primaries, Marco Rubio made his mark by drawing allusions to the size of Donald Trump’s penis during the debates and repeatedly called Trump a “con artist,” an “empty suit,” and at one point said flatly that “[Trump] cannot be our nominee.”
Meanwhile, prior to his selection as Vice President, JD Vance had said that Trump was somewhere between Nixon and “America’s Hitler.” He also referred to Trump as “reprehensible,” “an idiot,” and said he was a Never Trumper who was considering casting a vote for Hillary Clinton rather than Trump.
Thankfully for both of them, Trump’s memory gave out when he selected them to be part of his administration. It’s that, or his most powerful backers (the Heritage Foundation, Peter Thiel, and Elon Musk) demanded that he include Vance and Rubio in order to cultivate the next-generation MAGA leader.
The Font Wars
Hopefully that little bit of history makes it clear how we’ve gotten where we are today. Way back in the before times, it was discovered that people with reading disabilities like dyslexia benefit from the use of sans-serif fonts compared to serifed fonts.
Once this was explained to Joe Biden, he signed an executive order requiring the Executive Branch to begin using fonts without decorative serifs. Probably signed it with autopen, no less.
Now that we’re in 2025 and DEI is a bad word, Marco Rubio has decided that he doesn’t like the inclusiveness caused by printing government documents in a font that might be more legible to people with reading impairments.
The Next Front: Ink
Little Marco has one trick left up his sleeve. When JD inevitably does the next stupid thing to try to regain Trump’s favor, Rubio can play his next card: demanding the government only use white ink for official documents.
It would be genius, really. Donald Trump carefully avoids saying it directly, but he clearly hates the color black. Rubio would stand to gain huge political points by pushing for the use of white ink. It’s Trump’s second-favorite color, after all. And if JD finds a way to counter that? Rubio can then go with Trump’s favorite color of all time: gold leaf.
The move would be fitting and following the footsteps of corporate America’s race to gain Trumps favor. Just a week or two ago, Pantone bravely declared that the color of the year next year will be… white?
Pretty easy to see what’s going on. Hopefully you found this in-depth analysis to be useful.
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