Yesterday, the embarrassing efforts of Donald Trumps’ appointed sycophants to flatter their Golden God continued… this time with dangerous implications. Trump took to his podium in Mar-A-Lago yesterday to announce that the U.S. Navy will begin developing new “Trump-class Battleship” that he says will sail as part of the “Golden Fleet”.
Accompanying his announcement is a brand-new Trump-branded website promoting the effort. It’s not clear who exactly owns the website, but it clearly states that it isn’t government-owned.
Trump even said he’ll take an active role in the ships’ design — obsessing over “aesthetics” to make them the “best looking” vessels ever. That’s not parody. He actually said “the U.S. Navy will lead the design of these ships along with me, because I’m a very aesthetic person”.
This comes a couple months after his earlier press conference where he slammed our current stealth battleship designs because it lacked proper aesthetics, saying: “An ugly ship is not necessary in order to say you’re stealth”.
Meanwhile, military experts point out that battleships are relics of the 20th century, phased out after World War II in favor of aircraft carriers, submarines, and distributed naval forces better suited for modern warfare. The last U.S. battleships were retired decades ago.
But if you needed a cherry on top of this disaster sundae, Trump says these ships will carry nuclear-armed weapons. In modern military doctrine, actual nuclear deterrence is handled by submarines that try to not be seen. Trump’s ships, on the other hand, will be glowing golden beacons tracked by every spy satellite in orbit — perfect targets if things go sideways.
Unsurprisingly, this is less about defense strategy and more about boosting Trump’s ego by slapping his name on another expensive boondoggle.
Today, the Center for Strategic & International Studies (CSIS) laid out a comprehensive list or reasons why “The Golden Fleet’s Battleship Will Never Sail” and points out that with construction not slated to begin in until the early 2030s, the next administration will almost certainly cancel the project.
Are you listening, Bath Iron Works, Huntington Ingalls Industries, and Gibbs & Cox? Maybe don’t waste your best engineers on fleet jewelry for a reality-TV era emperor.
Adding cancellation of the Trump battleship to the Project 2029 to-do list.
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